Chairman– er, President Trump has declared May 1st to be “Loyalty Day.” At moments like this I wish he’d go back to just trying to legislate. He’s terrible at it, and most of his worst ideas get swatted down one way or another. But whenever he wants to get his mojo back he holds another rally, riles up his base, and makes some sort of Fascist-style declaration. “Loyalty Day” is just the latest.

To be clear, I’ve only seen the headlines. The very idea of Loyalty Day makes my shoulders and stomach clench, so I haven’t delved into the mysteries of this new holiday. So I don’t know if there’s anything or anyone specific to whom we are supposed to pledge our loyalty. That being the case, I choose to place my loyalty… elsewhere.

Vive la résistance.

[EDIT: Turns out, Loyalty Day has been a thing in America since 1921. It’s just that Trump went and made it weird. This Washington Post article explains it better.]