I’m working on a play about superheroes. A question I’ve been asked a lot lately is, if I could pick one, what would me superpower be? My answers have been generic and boring. I think I said flying would be cool. I think I told somebody else I’d take Bruce Wayne’s bank account.

I’ve had time to think about it, though, and I’ve come up with a better answer. I had a dream once where I was in the shower in my bathroom. It has a glass door. In this dream, I could walk through it – not the door, but the glass itself. When I did that, anything I didn’t want to come with me stayed on the other side of the glass. Like a sieve, but I came out the other side unscathed. And by anything, I mean anything from excess body fat to viruses to cancer cells. And the best part was, if I took someone’s hand, I could bring them through as well, and have the same effects.

I imagine the clean-up would be pretty disgusting, but it would be worth it. I’ve thought about this. I’d keep some rubber gloves and bleach handy. It’s already in the shower, so most of that stuff would just go down the drain. So that’s what I really want. I want the ability to heal someone by taking their hand and walking them through a glass wall.

I don’t know what my superhero name would be. But I wouldn’t need a costume. Clothing won’t go through the glass.