Once upon a time, many years ago, I had a birthday. To celebrate, some friends treated me to a movie. That movie turned out to be Batman & Robin. One of my friends felt so bad about this shitty gift that after the movie we immediately went to a toy store where he bought us a couple of Super Soakers and then we went to the beach and chased each other around and had a fine time.
A month later, in an attempt to make amends for the Batman & Robin fiasco, we went to another movie. This one turned out to be Spawn.
Two years later I got the bright idea that I wanted to go see a movie for my birthday again. That movie? Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Holy Crap I Can’t Even Finish This Because the Title Gives Me Embarrassment Shivers.
After that we decided to take a couple years off from the birthday movie tradition. Then in 2002 I thought, surely enough time has passed. Surely it’s safe.
We saw Minority Report.
Yesterday was the first time in ten years that I have risked going to the movies for my birthday. I think… I think… that the curse may finally be broken.
Mandy and I saw Ted. It was a risk, I know, but I actually put some thought into this one. I read reviews. I relied on the fact that Mandy and I are both big Family Guy fans. Also? I lowered my expectations. Ten, fifteen years ago I expected every comic book or sci-fi summer blockbuster to be the next Most Awesome Thing Ever. Now I’m content with giggling my ass off for a couple of hours. And that’s precisely what I did. And it was great.