In the last four hours I have, via my MySpace page, received messages from Diane, George, Shirley, Rae, Ricardo, Angie, Odessa, Earle, Chelsea and Kirk. All of these people have three things in common: They use the phrase “what’s up?” as a subject heading, they do not have photos uploaded to their accounts, and THEY DON’T FUCKING EXIST.

I’m a simple guy. I take pleasure in simple things. One of those things is when the little “New Mail” icon on my Yahoo! mail account lights up. But today it has brought me naught but heartache, as each time the new mail turns out to be an alert from MySpace informing that some new phantom wants me to click on some obscure link so I can see their real pictures, ’cause MySpace won’t let them show their favorites, if you know what they mean, wink wink.