Fart-Around Time

Fart-Around Time

What genius came up with the idea that days should have but four-and-twenty hours? And furthermore, was it the same fellow who thought that I should be overcome with the need to sleep for almost a third of those hours? What a twit that guy was.

I lament my lack of time not because I have so much to do and so little time to do it, but rather because I have so little time in which I get to do nothing important whatsoever. My fart-around time, if you will. I have this thing on my computer (or rather, Mandy’s computer, because it works on hers but not mine – but the thing itself is mine) called GarageBand. You Mac users out there have probably heard of this. You use it to make songs. I have an electric guitar. With GarageBand I can plug my guitar into the computer and record it. And then I can use the computer to make drums, or a piano, or whatever the hell I want. I can write and record songs that I make up. I have, in fact, recorded a couple already. I think they sound sort of Pixies-ish, but that may be because I’d been listening to the Pixies a lot when I made them.

The songs are terrible. I know that. And I didn’t make them for other people to hear anyway. It’s not something I take seriously. I just find it relaxing. And it gives me a small thrill when I’m using the Shuffle Songs option on my iPod and one of them pops up. I just think it’s kinda cool.

The problem is that recording a song, even a simple one with just a couple of chords and changes, takes a long-ass time. I mean like weeks. At least, it takes ME weeks. I find that I need to record the same riff a couple dozen times before I get a take that doesn’t sound like I accidentally bumped my guitar with a garden tool. And then I need to create a drum track, which is meticulous work, and usually I create a bass track as well, which is almost as meticulous. If I owned a bass guitar as well it would make things a little easier, but I don’t, and I don’t take it seriously enough to actually save up several hundred dollars to buy one. Hell, the electric guitar I’ve got now is borrowed.

This is such a lame thing to write about. I don’t know why I’m even bothering, except that I haven’t posted anything up here in a few weeks. I wish I had something more interesting to comment on. Sorry.

Anyway, my point is, if days were longer, or if I didn’t feel the need to sleep as much, I’d have more spare time. Would I do anything of value with this spare time? Hell, no! I’d spend it plugged into GarageBand. Not very productive, I know. But I think I would be a much more relaxed person, and therefore more capable of handling the various tasks and challenges that make up the rest of my day.

Or, maybe I’d just starting posting blogs that whine about how twenty-six-hour days aren’t long enough, why can’t they be twenty-eight? Or thirty? I find that my fart-around time grows more and more precious to me as I get older.

If only I could teleport to and from work. That would free up at least an hour and a half per day right there.

Posted in General Awesomeness
1 Comment

One response to “Fart-Around Time”

  1. Shane says:

    Well, I don’t know who came up with the 4-and-20 thing, but the sleeping for 1/3 of the day — that was me. My bad.

    Also, I’m sorry I caused all that cancer.

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